Alternate title: the time I stepped in dog poop in my bare feet in my bathroom at 4am.
So apparently Chance wanted in on our sick action and got sick last night/this morning because after I nursed Garrity at 4am I walked into our bathroom (in the dark) to go pee and was confused when I stepped in something wet. At first I thought maybe the laundry detergent had dripped since it was right by our hamper but when I turned on the light I realized I was so, so wrong.
I had stepped in a giant (as in maybe the biggest pile I’d ever seen) of dog poop. In my bare feet. Um sick. I kind of stood there for a second not knowing what to do. Our bathroom and my foot was covered in poop and I knew everything had to get cleaned up but I didn’t want to yell too loud because Garrity was in our bed so I stood at the edge of the closet (where the carpet comes in) and quietly called for Chris a couple times. Poor guy gets up so confused only to be greeted with poop.
I love my husband so much because while I sat on the edge of the bath and washed my feet over and over and over again, he cleaned up all that poop. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.
So then we go to bed. And get up about an hour later and get ready and Garrity is still sleeping so I take the opportunity to pump while Chris is still home. As I’m pumping,Chris says he smells something in the front room but I still can’t smell anything with my cold so I tell him it’s just the bathroom poop stuck to his upper lip. He goes back in to get ready and all the sudden comes running out with Chance who has decided to puke in our closet (our brand new carpet mind you).
Again, my wonderful husband (who has a meeting and presentation to get to) cleans up the puke. Meanwhile I finish pumping and go to get Garrity ready and then Chris finds the source of the smell. Dog diarrhea. All over our fireplace bricks. We have a tiny little wood stove with a ton of red brick surrounding it and out of the whole house, Chance decided to have diarrhea there. Awesome. By this point Chris has to leave so lucky me. I get this job.
I get Garrity changed and lay her on the bed in our room where I hoped she’d fall back to sleep and then I google what to do. Would you believe that no one else has ever googled how to clean a situation like this? Lots of info on how to clean dog poop off your driveway, your paver patios, your garage floor…nothing about your fireplace. So I get some paper towels and try to wipe it down but it was soaked into the brick. And at this point I start to gag because even though my nose isn’t 100% I can still smell this. And because we have no bleach or oxi clean which is what I wanted to use, I just got some hot water, dish soap and a scrub brush and went to town.
That’s right, I spent my morning scrubbing dog poop out of bricks.
And I thought having a cold was bad. Ha!